If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
