I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
