We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
