i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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