you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
