This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
