so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
