He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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