Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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