I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
