Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
