your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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