You really coming over, don't trick.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
