I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
