Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
