We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
