i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
