i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
