I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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