the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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