just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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