is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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