Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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