Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sext me about skeletons
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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