she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
