It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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