Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
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This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize