You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
