Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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