He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
