Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize