I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
