Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
