Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
