Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Welp...herpes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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