oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
