Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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