That's when you crack a 10am beer
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
