If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
