You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
