what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
