I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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