my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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