i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
