He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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