we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
