ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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