is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
