You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize