GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
