the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
