I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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