btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
