I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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