I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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