I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
