Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
