D3 body, D1 cock
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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