Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
