I feel like I'm in dance class right now
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
