just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
