I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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