Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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