Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
